Or rather insert the name of my baby...no, I'm not telling! Someone was SHOCKED the other day when they discovered that Luke and I were the only ones who knew our baby's name. And that we hadn't told our parents yet. I think it is a really good idea to keep the name a secret for now. Besides, he'll be here any day!
Speaking of that, I had a doctor's appointment yesterday and things are going swimmingly! Baby is growing nicely (don't know just how big, but I'd say he's roughly 6-61/2 lbs...if not more!) and my body is doing the right things to prep for labor and delivery of the little man. My doctor wrote something down for her assistant "Here's a new acronym for you to know. BBW." The assistant said "Ooo, a new one for my book! What does it mean?" My doctor responded "Bulging bag of waters." And then she told me they could rupture on their own at any minute.
Meet me, the walking time bomb!
Random people are talking to me everywhere I go. A baby belly is an automatic conversation starter that you can't stop! So people just jump right in and ask how far along you are, when you're due, is it a girl or boy, what's the name, tell you that you haven't dropped yet (when you have, thank you very much), or that you'll drop 2-3 times (what?), and all sorts of good stuff like that. Sometimes I'm in the mood for it and cheerfully chat about my baby, but lately I've been tired and don't want people commenting on my body and passing on wisdom to me when they really don't know me from Eve. It really is great to see how women ARE made for taking care of children, they naturally are drawn to babies from even before they are born. But surely Miss Manners would have something to say about what you do and don't say to a pregnant woman?
Luke has been faithfully attending childbirth classes with me! It's so great to have his support, and he's made it a priority for us to be at every class we can before the baby is born. Tonight our class got to ask a lot of questions from one of the local pediatricians. If we didn't already have a family doctor in mind and if it didn't make more sense to us to go with a family practitioner who could take care of our whole family (and who is a Christian and recommended by two families we trust) we'd go with this pediatrician. He seemed very well balanced, careful to not tell us what to do as parents (even though a few parents asked questions that are more personal preferences and not medical concerns). It was good to get a view at what the local pediatricians are like, as well as be able to ask a doctor specific questions for advice and what he'd do in thus and such a circumstance.
Something that has been very encouraging, even though I've been more and more uncomfortable over the past week is that bearing a child and then giving birth to him is all a part of being a woman in this world. :) That may sound cheesy, and it may sound morbid for me to go to Genesis 3:16 and find comfort, but I do honestly take comfort in the fact that the discomfort and pain of the whole process is God-ordained. Sure, it's a result of the fall and a curse, but it's the part of the curse that I have to bear. Luke bears the curse daily, toiling for the herb of the field and for our bread, and I will willingly bear my part, which is bringing forth children "in pain".
Many times I wish I didn't have to, especially since I've never delivered a baby before and doubt my own strength. But God works all evil for good. I know even now He is using this fear of the pain to show me that He will make me strong in my weakness. I know I can't do this on my own, but I trust Him fully that He will bring me through, that the Lord will protect both the baby and I during the whole thing, and that I can lean on Him completely, letting go of my own will, wishes, and strength. AND that the only way this will work is if I trust God's perfect will.
This makes me remember a song Mom used to sing to my siblings and me when we were little:
Trust and obey,
For there's no other way
To be happy in Jesus
but to trust and obey.
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